joke bank - Pop Culture Jokes

Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

Q: Do you know who was the first black guy to admit he is the father?
A: Darth Vader.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies, and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "It tells me that someone has stolen our tent."

Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?
A: Santa stops after three hos.

Yo momma so stupid she thought Bruno Mars was a planet.

Yo momma's so fat, the Hogwarts Sorting Hat put her in all 4 houses!

Yo mama so ugly the Terminator said, "I won't be back."

The energizer bunny was arrested on a charge of battery.

So a man dies, goes to Heaven, and sees St. Peter. There are many clocks surrounding him so the man asks, "What are these clocks for?" St. Peter replies, "These are lie clocks, they tick once for every lie you tell. Here we have Mother Teresa's clock. She has never lied so the clock has not moved. Honest Abe has only lied twice in his life, so it has only ticked twice." The man then asks, "So where is George Bush's clock?" St. Peter replies, "Oh, that is in Jesus' office, he is using it as a ceiling fan!"

Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts?
A: Through the Dumble-door.

Q: What computer sings the best?
A: A Dell.