joke bank - Pop Culture Jokes

I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.

Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts?
A: Through the Dumble-door.

20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope, and no jobs.

Did you hear about Monica Lewinsky becoming a Republican? The Democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.

Yo mamma is so old she knew Burger King when he was a prince.

Q: Why did Captain Kirk go in to the ladies room?
A: Because he wanted to go where no man had gone before.

Q: How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
A: Look for the fresh prints.

Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: Because he neverlands.

I don't really like watching basketball, I just watch it to find out who the next member of the Kardashian family will be.

Q: What do you call the space between Kim Kardashian's breasts and butt cheeks?
A: Silicon Valley.

The Little Rascal's class were having a spelling test. The teacher asks if anyone can use the word "admire" in a sentence. Spanky raises his hand and says, "I admire my dog." "Good job," the teacher replies, "Now, who can use 'respect' in a sentence?" Alfalfa raises his hand and says, "I respect Spanky for admiring his dog." "Ok, " replies the teacher, "now who can use the word 'dictate' in a sentence?" There is silence in the class, then all of a sudden Buckwheat says, "Darla how did my dictate !?!"

Dear NASA, Your mom thought I was big enough. - Pluto