Q: What do you call an ocean voyage where everyone stays in the closet?
A: A Tom Cruise.
How much coke has Charlie Sheen snorted? Enough to kill two and a half men.
The Little Rascal's class were having a spelling test. The teacher asks if anyone can use the word "admire" in a sentence. Spanky raises his hand and says, "I admire my dog." "Good job," the teacher replies, "Now, who can use 'respect' in a sentence?" Alfalfa raises his hand and says, "I respect Spanky for admiring his dog." "Ok, " replies the teacher, "now who can use the word 'dictate' in a sentence?" There is silence in the class, then all of a sudden Buckwheat says, "Darla how did my dictate !?!"
Why did LaBron James skip college? Because he would never make it to the finals!
What kind of sushi does Lady Gaga eat? Raw, raw, raw, raw, rawwww!