It's a little unfair that Mike Vick is looked down upon for dog fighting, and The Mario Bros. are celebrated from taking mushrooms and turtle bashing.
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
I asked my three year old grandson Malachi what his name was, he replied, "Spiderman." I said, "Malachi, what is your real name?" He replied, "Peter Parker."
Yo momma's so fat, the Hogwarts Sorting Hat put her in all 4 houses!
Q: What do you call an ocean voyage where everyone stays in the closet?
A: A Tom Cruise.