Q: What's the difference between Tom Cruise and a tuxedo?
A: One comes out of the closet on special occasions and the other is a tuxedo.
Q: What is the dirtiest line said on television?
A: "Ward, I think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night."
When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face.
The NSA: a government organization that actually listens to you!
Q: Why did Captain Kirk go in to the ladies room?
A: Because he wanted to go where no man had gone before.