Curiosity killed the cat. Michael Vick killed the dog.
How do you find Ronald McDonald at a nude beach? You look for the sesame seed buns!
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and the Titanic? Only 15,000 people went down on the Titanic.
Why is Ray Charles happy? Because he doesn't know he's black.
Q: What do the starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?
A: They both probe Uranus and wipe out Klingons.