Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
Three brothers wanted to give their blind mom a birthday gift. The first got her a big beautiful house. The second got her a brand new luxury vehicle with a driver. The third got her a talking parrot to keep her company. When they all got together, they wanted to know which gift she liked best. She said they were all great but she thanked her third son because she liked the chicken dinner best.
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A: "Put it on my bill."