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joke bank - Popular Jokes

Yo momma is so ugly Fix-It Felix said, "I can't fix it."

@MusicGod2001

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

avre1

Q: Why was six scared of seven?
A: Because seven "ate" nine.

Anonymous

Q: Why was six scared of seven?
A: Because seven "ate" nine.

Anonymous

Yo momma is so fat when she stepped on the scale it read, "Get the hell off me!"

rayray23234

A bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?" "Okay, sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is put the prisoner in the prison." And they made love for the first time and the husband was smiling with satisfaction. Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped." Turning on his side, he smiles and says, "Then we will have to re-imprison him." After the second time, the bride says, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!" The husband rises to the occasion and they made love again. The bride again says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again," to which the husband yelled, "Hey, it's not a life sentence!!!"

MrsChinchilla

Mexico doesn't win Olympic medals because all the best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in America.

Anonymous

Mexico doesn't win Olympic medals because all the best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in America.

Anonymous

Why did so many black men get killed in Vietnam? When the generals would yell, "Get down!" they would all start dancing.

cleesix225

Yo momma is so ugly she turned Medusa into stone.

mariela sapon

A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?” “I was stung by a bee!” she said. “Where?” he asked. “Between the first and second hole.” she replied. He nodded and said, “Your stance is far too wide.”

Anonymous

There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

Anonymous