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joke bank - Popular Jokes

Your momma is so stupid she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.

andres2152

Yo mama's so stupid she put paper on the television and called it paper view.

Anonymous

Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
A: Because he was always spotted.

lovebite

Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
A: Because he was always spotted.

lovebite

Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
A: Because he was always spotted.

lovebite

Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
A: Because he was always spotted.

lovebite

Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
A: Because he was always spotted.

lovebite

A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. “Looking for a man with three qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed.” Two days later her doorbell rings. “Hi, I’m Tim. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no legs so I won't run away.” “What makes you think you are great in bed?” the woman retorts. Tim replies, “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”

Anonymous

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads, "Cheese Sandwich: $1.50; Chicken Sandwich: $2.50; Hand Job: $10.00." Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. "Yes?" she enquires with a knowing smile, "Can I help you?" "I was wondering," whispers the man, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" "Yes," she purrs, "I am." The man replies, "Well, go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"

Tapatio1974

A typical macho man married a typical good looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules. "I'll be home when I want, if I want, what time I want, and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table, unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card playing when I want with my old buddies, and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?" His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night, whether you're here or not."

Mariana13

Yo mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.

YoYoMan

An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."

Anonymous