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joke bank - Popular Jokes

Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.

srehak1

A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!" Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

kandue0962

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

laurieleeb...

Yo mama so ugly when she went into a haunted house she came out with a job application.

TheLaughFa...

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The dad said, "Well it's what Mommy calls me sometimes." The little girl screamed to her brother, "Don't eat it. Its an asshole!

blackray

Yo momma is so ugly even Hello Kitty said, "Goodbye" to her

mariela sapon

Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Montgomery...

Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Montgomery...

Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Montgomery...

What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.

maryochoa

Q: Why did President Obama get two terms?
A: Because every black man gets a longer sentence.

CHRIS

Q: Why did President Obama get two terms?
A: Because every black man gets a longer sentence.

CHRIS