How do you blindfold a Chinese person? Put floss over their eyes.
Yo momma is so fat when she sat on WalMart, she lowered the prices.
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."