Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me."
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."