Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
Do not be racist , be like Mario. He's an italian plumber, made by Japanese people, who speaks english, looks like a mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a jew!
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
What did God say when he made the first black man? "Damn, I burnt one."