Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me."
Two nuns from Ireland come to tour New York City. Before they come, they hear that Americans eat dogs, so they both agree to try it when they arrive. As they're walking around New York, they hear, "Hot Dogs! Get your hot dogs!" They rush over to get one! As the first nun opens hers, her face turns white and she gasps, "What part did you get?!"
Man: "Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh never mind, it's too long."
Woman: "Want to hear a joke about my vagina? Never mind, you'll never get it."
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.