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joke bank - Relationship Jokes

How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? Both of them.

LaughFactory

I never knew the meaning of true happiness until I got married but then it was too late.

epiccaasi

My girlfriend told me if I join one more comedy group on the Internet, she’s going to leave me. I’m really going to miss her.

JOHNNYGREEK

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

LaughFactory

John and Bob were discussing their married lives. Although happily married to their wives, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes. John said, “I’ve made one great discovery. I know how to always have the last word.” “Wow!" said Bob, “how did you manage that?” “It’s easy,” replied John, “my last word is always ‘Yes, Dear.’”

isaacsaadian

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

LaughFactory

The tenderest love is between two homosexual men with hemorrhoids.

Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield

evralph

The five most important qualities in a woman: one who is independent and helps around the house, one who can make you laugh, one who you can trust, one who is good in bed, and most importantly, one who should make sure these four women never meet.

wildpuppy

There is a husband and a wife. The husband dies, and during the funeral, the wife starts to laugh. Everybody starts to ask her why, and she says, "This is the first time that I know where my husband is going."

Marwan9m

My girlfriend wanted us to get a Sleep Number bed, so we went and checked it out. Turns out her sleep number is 61, and mine is $3500!

friskevision

A husband and wife decide on a code language whenever they feel like having sex to escape the attention of their son. According to the code language, the wife will be the typewriter and the husband will act as the typist. However, they had a petty quarrel a few days ago and were not talking to each other. One day the husband gets into the mood and he can’t hold any longer. So he sends a word to his wife through the son. The son comes and tells her, “Mom, dad wants to use the typewriter.” The wife was having her period at that time and she thought for a while and said, “Tell dad, he can’t because the red ribbon is on now,” she said. However, the husband misunderstands that it was a deliberate excuse on her part. Next day the son comes to his dad on an errand from his mom this time and tells him, “Dad, mom said it is okay now; the red ribbon is removed and you can type.” The husband then tells his son, “Tell your mom I don’t need to type now. It was urgent, so I've already written with my hand!”

Brianna