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joke bank - Relationship Jokes

There's a man speeding on the road and a police officer is chasing him for miles. The man finally stops and the officer tells him, "When you see those lights and hear those sirens, you are supposed to stop!" The man says, "Well, I had a good excuse to keep driving." The officer says, "I've heard every excuse in the book, but if it's one I haven't heard, I'll let you go." The man says, "Well a few days ago, my wife ran off with one of your officers, and I was afraid you were trying to bring her back." So the officer let him go.

JT

Q: What worse than finding out your ex-wife got cancer? A: Finding out it's curable.

TheLaughFa...

I never knew the meaning of true happiness until I got married but then it was too late.

epiccaasi

My girlfriend told me if I join one more comedy group on the Internet, she’s going to leave me. I’m really going to miss her.

JOHNNYGREEK

Man: Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason.
Woman: Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

LaughFactory

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

LaughFactory

When you are married, nobody asks about your sex life. They know that you don't have one!

at3418

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

LaughFactory

John and Bob were discussing their married lives. Although happily married to their wives, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes. John said, “I’ve made one great discovery. I know how to always have the last word.” “Wow!" said Bob, “how did you manage that?” “It’s easy,” replied John, “my last word is always ‘Yes, Dear.’”

isaacsaadian

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield

evralph

A husband says to his wife, "Honey I just won the lottery. Pack your bags!" The wife says, "Great. Should I pack for warm weather or cold weather?" The husband replies, "I don't care, just get the hell out!"

comedylove

The five most important qualities in a woman: one who is independent and helps around the house, one who can make you laugh, one who you can trust, one who is good in bed, and most importantly, one who should make sure these four women never meet.

wildpuppy