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joke bank - Relationship Jokes

When you are married, nobody asks about your sex life. They know that you don't have one!

at3418

I never knew the meaning of true happiness until I got married but then it was too late.

epiccaasi

My girlfriend told me if I join one more comedy group on the Internet, she’s going to leave me. I’m really going to miss her.

JOHNNYGREEK

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

LaughFactory

John and Bob were discussing their married lives. Although happily married to their wives, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes. John said, “I’ve made one great discovery. I know how to always have the last word.” “Wow!" said Bob, “how did you manage that?” “It’s easy,” replied John, “my last word is always ‘Yes, Dear.’”

isaacsaadian

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield

evralph

A husband says to his wife, "Honey I just won the lottery. Pack your bags!" The wife says, "Great. Should I pack for warm weather or cold weather?" The husband replies, "I don't care, just get the hell out!"

comedylove

There is a husband and a wife. The husband dies, and during the funeral, the wife starts to laugh. Everybody starts to ask her why, and she says, "This is the first time that I know where my husband is going."

Marwan9m

The five most important qualities in a woman: one who is independent and helps around the house, one who can make you laugh, one who you can trust, one who is good in bed, and most importantly, one who should make sure these four women never meet.

wildpuppy

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary. "Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig." The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."

jesternight

Someone asked me, "Now that you are retired, do you still have a job?" I replied, "Yes I am my wife's sexual adviser." Somewhat shocked, they said, "I beg your pardon, but what do you mean by that?" "Very simple," I answered, "My wife has told me that when she wants my fucking advice, she'll ask me for it."

Anonymous

My girlfriend wanted us to get a Sleep Number bed, so we went and checked it out. Turns out her sleep number is 61, and mine is $3500!

friskevision