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joke bank - Relationship Jokes

How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? Both of them.

LaughFactory

John was talking to his fiance, Rebecca. He said, "Be honest now, baby, how am I as a lover?" To which she replied, "Honey, I would definitely say that you're warm." "Really?" he asked excitedly. "Yes, in fact I would say that you're the dictionary definition of the word 'warm.'" John was pleased until he went home and just for fun, checked his dictionary and found, "WARM: Not so hot."

Anonymous

Man- What would you do if I won the lottery?
Woman- Take half and leave!
Man- Well, I won 20 bucks, here's 10, now get out!

Anonymous

The other night I went out on a blind date. Well it didn't start out that way, she had mace.

Mark My Words

I bough my wife a mood ring, and when she's in a good mood the ring turns blue. But when she's in a bad mood, it leaves a big red spot in the middle of my forehead.

Mark My Words

My wife is such a bad cook, the flies chipped in to fix the screens. - Rodney Dangerfield

fastfidos

Why did the man cross the road? He heard the chicken was a slut.

LaughFactory

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized!

LaughFactory

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

Seaweed

I get no respect with my wife. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.

Aces

Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

LaughFactory

A chicken and an egg are having sex. The chicken rolls off the egg and says, "I guess that answers that question."

huynhoang