Chocolate Sundaes is live this Sunday! Stay tuned to see the biggest names of comedy on New Material Night with Kevin Nealon Catch Tim Allen monthly on our Hollywood stage

joke bank - Relationship Jokes

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face.

Derryk

A man and woman are sitting on their porch drinking a beer. The man says, "I love you." The woman says, "Is that you talking or the beer talking?" The man says, "That's me talking to the beer!"

Vicki from...

A lady noticed her friend was wearing her wedding ring on the wrong finger so she asked, "Why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" Her friend replied, "Because I married the wrong man!"

yappy

Boyfriend: "ILY."
Girlfriend: "Can you please say the words? It makes it better."
Boyfriend: "I'm leaving you."

Marcie

Q: What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?
A: About fifty pounds.

Mark My Words

A young man looking to get married asked his friend. "Every woman I bring home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like." "Oh, that's easy," his pal replied, "All you have to do is find someone who is just like your mother." "I did that already," he said, "and that one my father didn't like."

sadaf85

During a bank robbery, the thief's mask slipped off. He fixed it and asked a hostage, "Did you see my face?" The hostage had, so the thief killed him. He asked the next hostage, same result. After he asked a third hostage, the guy responded, "No, but my wife did."

rgactr

A husband says to his wife, "I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time." The wife thinks about it for a few moments and replies, "Your dick is bigger than your brothers."

Anonymous

My girlfriend called me a pedophile; that's a big word for a nine year old.

Anonymous

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

LaughFactory

Girlfriend: Darling, will you give me a ring on our wedding day?
Boyfriend: Sure, what is your number?

Anonymous

My wife and I are planning our 21st wedding anniversary celebration. Here lies the problem: she wants to go to Outback Steakhouse, I want sex, and my mother-in-law thinks we should renew our vows at church. Well, I'm all for compromise, so we should have sex outback of the church.

Mark My Words