joke bank - Religious Jokes

Q: Did you hear about the short sighted rabbi?
A: He got the sack.


Q: Why did all the hippies go to church on the first day of Lent? A: They heard it was "Hash Wednesday."


Jesus' away message on Good Friday, "BRB."


Q: Who was the smallest man in the Bible?
A: King David because he was only 12 inches tall as he was a ruler.


Mother Teresa dies and of course goes directly to heaven. God greets her and asks her, "After you get familiar with this place, how about we have dinner together?" "I would love to eat dinner with you!" Later that evening they meet up for dinner and she takes a seat at the dining room table. God is in the kitchen and starts preparing a very simple meal: one can of tuna fish and some crackers. Through some cracks in the floor, Mother Teresa looks down at Hell; she sees fire and red hot flames with hundreds of thousands of people, and they are dining on lobster, fine wine, chocolate cakes, steaks, pancakes, row after row of fine food. Mother Teresa can't help but ask, "God, look at how they're eating down there. Shouldn't we be dining even better than Hell? You are just serving canned tuna and crackers..." God says, "Well, I figure since it's just the two of us, why cook?"


What's the best part about being a Rabbi? You get to keep the tips.


We are all God's children right? And Jesus is God's only son, right? So aren't we all women?


What does the Pope use to cut potatoes? El pela papas.


Who invented the first soft drink? Answer: Adam. He made Eve's cherry pop.

Tommy Hannold

A hippie in a bus sees a very beautiful lady and he goes to the lady and asks " can I do my way with you? " and the lady replies by saying "sorry i cant so that i am a nun my body and soul belongs to the lord" the hippie then walks away and exits the bus cause they have arrived and his bus stop but gets stopped by the bus driver " you know that nun always goes to the cemetery and prays so you should go there dressed up like jesus and ask her to do your way with her" says the bus driver the hippie says okay and waits till midnight and goes to the cemetery and sees the nun praying then he put his jesus outfit and asks the nun to do her way with her and he shall forgiver her sins and she says yes but do it from behind so i will not lose my virginity and they start to make love and when they were done the hippie rips his outfit of and says surprise its me the hippie! and then the nun rips her dress of and screams surprise its me the bus~driver!

Ludwig Van...