TIM ALLEN IS BACK IN HOLLYWOOD ON FEB 1ST! YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THIS SO HURRY AND GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!!! COME AND SUPPORT A SPECIAL FUNDRAISER SHOW FOR THE CRIMMINS' FAMILY ON JAN. 23RD FEATURING TODAY'S TOP COMICS! CATCH KEVIN NEALON ON NEW MATERIAL FEATURING TODAY'S TOP STAND-UP COMEDIANS ON FEB. 13TH! JOIN COMEDY LEGEND BILL BURR AS HE HEADLINES THE BOSTON FOR CRIMMINS' FUNDRAISER SHOW THIS TUESDAY ON JAN. 23RD. COME, SUPPORT, AND HAVE A GREAT TIME WITH BILL AND OTHER TOP BOSTON COMICS FOR THIS SPECIAL EVENT

joke bank - School Jokes

Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A: It's okay. He woke up.

Pat

An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."

Anonymous

The bell rang for school to start and John walked in late. Mr. Clark asked, "John, why are you late?" He replied, "I was on Cherry Hill." Then he sat down. Ten minutes later Nathan walked in late and Mr. Clark repeated, "Why are you late?" Nathan answered, "I was on top of Cherry Hill." Five minutes later Kevin walked in late and Mr. Clark said to him, "Kevin, where have you been?" Kevin replied, "I was on Cherry Hill." Ten minutes later a girl walked in the classroom and Mr. Clark asked, "Hi there, what's your name?" The girl replied, "Cherry Hill."

Anonymous

One day Jimmy got home early from school and his mom asked, "Why are you home so early?" He answered, "Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class." She said, "Wow, my son is a genius. What was the question?" Jimmy replied, "The question was 'Who threw the trash can at the principal's head?'"

Anonymous

Dad: "Can I see your report card, son?"
Son: "I don't have it."
Dad: "Why?"
Son: "I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents."

Anonymous

Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student: "A drinking problem."

Boingy Boing

Teacher: "Which book has helped you the most in your life?"
Student: "My father's check book!"

Anonymous

Yo mamma is so fat, the only good grade she got in school was an "A" in lunch.

akili butler

A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the teller, and says, "Give me all the money or you're geography!" The puzzled teller replies, "Did you mean to say 'or you're history?'" The robber says, "Don't change the subject!"

Darkrose300

Teacher: What is the value of Pi?
Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Vivo Tey

A young boy came home from school and told his mother, "I had a big fight with my classmate. He called me a sissy." The mother asked, "What did you do?" The boy replied, "I hit him with my purse!"

Anonymous

Q: Why did the school kids eat their homework?
A: Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake.

capcon