joke bank - School Jokes

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory today. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Q: What are a blonde's first words after graduating college?
A: "Would you like fries with that?"

Q: Why did the girl wear glasses in math class?
A: It improves di-vision.

Boy: The principal is so dumb!

Girl: Do you know who I am?

Boy: No...

Girl: I am the principal's daughter!

Boy: Do you know who I am?

Girl: No...

Boy: Good! *Walks away*

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes, the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, four minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude?" After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."

Teacher: "What is the present tense for the sentence 'I killed someone'?"
Student: "The present tense would be 'I am in prison.'"

Teacher: "What is the largest city?"
Student: "Electricity!"

A teacher asks a student, "Are you ignorant or just apathetic?" The kid answers, "I don't know and I don't care."

A boy was at school and his teacher asked him to learn 3 new words over the weekend. His father is a pilot and taught him the word "takeoff." His mother is a zoo keeper and taught him the word "zebra." His big sister was going to have a baby and taught him the word "baby." He went to school the next day and his teacher asked, ''What are your three words?'' The boy said, ''Takeoff zebra baby.''

Chintu: "You never study, so how come you don't fail your math tests?"
Pintu: "Because whenever there is a math test, I don't go to school!"

Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling.

The teacher was teaching in animal lesson.
Teacher: What does a pig do?
Student: it rolls around in mud.
Teacher: Good! What does a cow do?
Student: It makes milk!
Teacher: Great! Now, what does a crazy old monkey give you?
Student: Homework!