joke bank - School Jokes

Teacher: Will any idiot in the room stand up please?
(a student stands up)
Teacher: Why do you think you are an idiot? Student: actually I don't, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself.

Teacher: How much is a gram?


Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory today. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Q: What are a blonde's first words after graduating college?
A: "Would you like fries with that?"

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes, the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, four minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude?" After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."

Q: Why did the girl wear glasses in math class?
A: It improves di-vision.

Chintu: "You never study, so how come you don't fail your math tests?"
Pintu: "Because whenever there is a math test, I don't go to school!"

Teacher: "What is the present tense for the sentence 'I killed someone'?"
Student: "The present tense would be 'I am in prison.'"

Teacher: "What is the largest city?"
Student: "Electricity!"

A boy was at school and his teacher asked him to learn 3 new words over the weekend. His father is a pilot and taught him the word "takeoff." His mother is a zoo keeper and taught him the word "zebra." His big sister was going to have a baby and taught him the word "baby." He went to school the next day and his teacher asked, ''What are your three words?'' The boy said, ''Takeoff zebra baby.''

A teacher asks a student, "Are you ignorant or just apathetic?" The kid answers, "I don't know and I don't care."

Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling.