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joke bank - School Jokes

Johnny's teacher told the class to say a sentence using the word beautiful twice. A girl sitting next to Johnny said, "My mother put on a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." The teacher said "Very good." Johnny raised his hand and said, "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father she was pregnant and he said, 'Beautiful, fucking beautiful!'"

FunnyForLife

I hate school and got caught skipping the other day. My principal said, "Walk normal next time, you fruitcake."

Seth Rihn

Q: What's the difference between a pygmy tribe and a high school girls track team?
A: The pygmy tribe is a bunch of cunning little runts.

Mark My Words

How do you get a Florida State graduate off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.

Jean Bustos

Q: What did the verb say when the words have, has, and had were removed from the English language?
A: "Nobody's perfect!"

Rob P Post

Teacher: can you see god
student: no
teacher: can you feel god
student no
teacher: can you smell god
student: no
teacher so god isn't real

*hand goes up*
Student" can you see your brain
teacher no
student can you feel your brain
teacher no
student: can you smell your brain
teacher: no
student: so you have no brain

Christian Tam

Timmy-Can I go the toilet?
Teacher-say the alphabet
Timmy-ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ
Teacher-where's the P
Timmy-half way down my leg

Anonymous

A kid comes home from school and so excitedly telling his dad ,daddy daddy the teacher asked a question at school today and I was the only one who answered it,
His father replies congratulations to my son I am proud but what was the question ?
Who broke the damn window....

Diego Popez

A boy asked his teacher"Can I go to the tolilet please miss?" but the teacher said "No, we're doing the alphabet" 5 Minutes later he asked again and the teacher says "no, it's your turn to do the alphabet." So he goes " A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z". Then the teacher askes "where's your P?" He replies with "It's halfway down my leg miss"

Anonymous

teacher asks to a student that if I give you 3+3 rabbits, how many do you have"?
student tells, I will have 7 rabbits.
teacher asks, how?
student tells, i already have 1 rabbit.








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