TIM ALLEN - HOLLYWOOD - AUGUST 9 KEVIN NEALON - HOLLYWOOD - AUGUST 7 PRETTY, FUNNY WOMEN - HOLLYWOOD - JULY 19 ANDREW DICE CLAY - TROPICANA LAS VEGAS - AUG 17-19

joke bank - Science Jokes

Two hydrogen atoms are at a party and bump into each other. The first one says, "Hey, grab that electron, it's mine!" "How do you know?" asks the second. "'Cause I'm positive!" the first replies.

kstny

Q. Why are conspiracy theories are like moon landings?
A. Because they're all fake.

RockyRocki...

Photons have mass? I didn't know that they were Catholic.

Malik Ore

Q. Why is quantum mechanics is the original "original hipster"?
A. It described the universe before it was cool.

SLICKNIPPL...

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. The first says to the second, "I think I've lost an electron." The second replies, "Are you sure?" to which the first retorts, "Yes, I'm positive."

marlamatar

Three doctors are out geese-hunting. A gaggle flies over and the oncologist raises and then lowers his gun. "I better conduct an MRI first to determine if those were really geese." Some more geese fly by & the endocrinologist raises his gun and then lowers it. "I'll need some bloodwork to conduct an A1C and determine what those birds were first." Some more geese fly over. The trauma doc raises his shotgun and blows them out of the sky. "What were those things, anyway?" he asks.

Jean Bustos

I used to know a lot of science jokes, but now they argon.

Grantw32

Do you want to know how often I say element jokes? Periodically.

Grantw32