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joke bank - Sex Jokes

What does a rooster and a hooker have in common in the morning? A rooster goes, "Cockadoododoo!" and a hooker goes, "Any c*ck will do!"

cjzamora25

Three boys were discussing their fathers' favorite foods. The first kid said his father loves to eat burgers. The second boy said his father loves KFC. The third boy said his father loves to eat light. The other two boys questioned how his father does that. The third boy replied, "Every night I hear my daddy tell mommy to turn off the light so he can eat it."

Eric

A man comes home early from work and tells his wife he just got fired. He tells her, "I got caught with my penis in the pickle slicer." His wife asks him if his penis is okay and he assures her it is fine. "Well," she asks, "What happened to the pickle slicer?" "Oh," he says, "She got fired too."

Mark My Words

Paddy was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin. The doctor said, "Well, you need three things from a do it yourself shop. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint, and a shovel." Paddy asked, "And what do I do with these, doc?" The doctor replied, "Before the wedding night, you paint one of your testicles red and the other one blue. That night if she says, 'That’s the strangest pair of balls I ever saw,' you hit her with the shovel."

rr AND Are...

A farmer buys a young rooster. As soon as he brings the bird to the farm, it rushes & fucks all 150 hens. The farmer is impressed thinking about all the eggs the hens would hatch. At lunch, the rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer gets a bit worried now. The next day, he finds the rooster fucking the ducks, geese, & a parrot too which is now scaring him. Later that day, he finds the rooster lying pale, half-dead with vultures circling over its head. The farmer says, "You horny bastard, you deserve this." The rooster opens one eye, points up, & whispers, "Shh! Don't shout, let them land!"

Awesome or...

Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers?
A: One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year.

TheLaughFa...

What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? Your wife will always blow your bonus!

Cvlkiller

A professor is lecturing a class and says, "Today's lecture will be about glucose. Glucose is sugar and can be found in lots of stuff. For example, semen, candy, etc." A blonde girl responds with, "How come you can't taste sugar in semen?" The professor says, "Well, sweety, that's because you don't have taste buds in the back of your throat."

josedc88

My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex for my birthday. It's nice, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, "I wanna watch."

c. williams

A lady sitting in the dentist chair told the dentist, "I would rather go through the pain of child birth than have you drill in my mouth." The dentist replied, "Well, you had better make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."

Mark My Words

What's the difference between a pregnant lady and a light bulb? You can unscrew a light bulb.

dutch271

Monica Lewinsky walks into the dry cleaners. The old man behind the counter is hard of hearing and doesn't understand her request, so he says, "Come again." Monica responds, "No, this time it's mustard."

Mark My Words