CHRIS D'ELIA IS BACK ON THE LUCK OF THE IRISH SHOW ON FEB. 23RD! LAUGH ALL NIGHT WITH SOCAL'S BEST COMICS ON ALL-STAR COMEDY EVERY FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHT IN HOLLYWOOD! YOU NEVER KNOW WHO COULD DROP BY ON THE SET DANE COOK IS BACK THIS TUESDAY (FEB 20) AND SATURDAY (FEB 24) TO MAKE YOU LAUGH ALL NIGHT! DON'T MISS THIS SO GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!

joke bank - Sex Jokes

My boyfriend wants to have a threesome. So I told him when cloning is legal, then he can have one.

happygurl77

What is a Yankee? Kind of like a quickie but you do it yourself.

Kallie95

What did the banana say to the vibrator? What are you laughing for? She's not going to eat you.

passionmusic

A guy hires a hooker and brings her to his hotel. The hooker is in bed ready for action, and the guy starts undressing. The hooker begins to laugh when he drops his boxers and asks, "Who do you think your're going to please with THAT thing?" The guy responds, "Me baby, me!"

h2osycho1

Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A: The hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

Mark My Words

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"

TheLaughFa...

Once upon a time, a doctor performed surgery on a young boy with an eye defect. After the surgery was done, he said to the parents, ""Your son is going to be just fine. We graphed some skin from his scrotum to widen his lid. He should have 20/20 vision when he wakes up." The parents responded, "So his eye is going to be normal?" "Well, like I said, his vision will be normal but he may be a little c*ck-eyed."

mertiscrumpet

Girl: "Can you use 'Mountain Dew' in a sentence?"
Guy: "Yes, can I 'mount-ain dew' you?"

henry allison

A truck driver was driving between towns on a country road when he spotted a gorgeous blonde hitchhiking. He stopped without hesitation and she climbed into the cab showing mountains of cleavage. Two miles further down the road, he got a flat, pulled to the side of the road and got out to inspect the tire. He was fiddling around with the wheel, when the blonde opened the window and shouted down, "Do you want a screwdriver?" The driver replied, all smiles, "Might as well. I can't get this fucking hub cap off."

Peter Gadd

The tenderest love is between two homosexual men with hemorrhoids.

Anonymous

Q: What's the difference between a voyeur and a thief?
A: A thief snatches your watch.

stevenmc

A 96-year old man is pleading with the doctor for a lower sex drive. "Surely you're imagining things," says the doctor. "You're 96 years old. Isn't all the feeling for sex just in your head?" "Yes," replies the elderly man, "that's why I want you to lower my sex drive to the place where it might do more good."

laurak2003