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joke bank - Sex Jokes

A woman decides to get a porno, so she goes to the store and picks one with a fairly dirty title. When she plays the movie, the screen gets fuzzy and nothing is going on. When she calls the store about the movie, they ask her what the title was, and she says, "Head Cleaner."

benstone532

Q: What’s the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
A: I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face.

TheLaughFa...

My boyfriend wants to have a threesome. So I told him when cloning is legal, then he can have one.

happygurl77

What did the banana say to the vibrator? What are you laughing for? She's not going to eat you.

passionmusic

What is a Yankee? Kind of like a quickie but you do it yourself.

Kallie95

Once upon a time, a doctor performed surgery on a young boy with an eye defect. After the surgery was done, he said to the parents, ""Your son is going to be just fine. We graphed some skin from his scrotum to widen his lid. He should have 20/20 vision when he wakes up." The parents responded, "So his eye is going to be normal?" "Well, like I said, his vision will be normal but he may be a little c*ck-eyed."

mertiscrumpet

Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A: The hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

Mark My Words

Roses are red
Nuts are brown
Skirts go up
Pants go down
Body to body Skin to skin
When its stiff
Stick it in
The Longer its in
The Stronger it gets
It goes in dry And comes out wet
It comes out dripping And starts to sag
Its not what you think......
Its a Teabag

Anonymous

A guy hires a hooker and brings her to his hotel. The hooker is in bed ready for action, and the guy starts undressing. The hooker begins to laugh when he drops his boxers and asks, "Who do you think your're going to please with THAT thing?" The guy responds, "Me baby, me!"

h2osycho1

The tenderest love is between two homosexual men with hemorrhoids.

Anonymous

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"

TheLaughFa...

A truck driver was driving between towns on a country road when he spotted a gorgeous blonde hitchhiking. He stopped without hesitation and she climbed into the cab showing mountains of cleavage. Two miles further down the road, he got a flat, pulled to the side of the road and got out to inspect the tire. He was fiddling around with the wheel, when the blonde opened the window and shouted down, "Do you want a screwdriver?" The driver replied, all smiles, "Might as well. I can't get this fucking hub cap off."

Peter Gadd