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joke bank - Sex Jokes

Girl: "Can you use 'Mountain Dew' in a sentence?"
Guy: "Yes, can I 'mount-ain dew' you?"

henry allison

What do a dildo and soybeans have in common? They're both used as a meat substitute.

Kjlund

A 96-year old man is pleading with the doctor for a lower sex drive. "Surely you're imagining things," says the doctor. "You're 96 years old. Isn't all the feeling for sex just in your head?" "Yes," replies the elderly man, "that's why I want you to lower my sex drive to the place where it might do more good."

laurak2003

What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush.

Dorothy Yap

Q: What's the difference between a voyeur and a thief?
A: A thief snatches your watch.

stevenmc

Q: Who's the most popular male at a nudist colony?
A: The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

Mark My Words

What's the difference between "oooooh!!" and "ahhhhhhh!!"? About three inches!

SIngEnLaugh

Pick up line: "Are you a beaver because damn!"

Chase Azevedo

The other night I played strip poker with my old lady: she stripped and I poked her.

Mark My Words

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You won't cry when you're cutting up the hooker.

Konigsberg

What's better than roses in your piano? Tulips in your organ!

lockxley

Pornography is what's going to save the 3D television market. The only thing we'll have to watch out for is the money shot. "Ahh did it get in my hair?"

atahmasian