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joke bank - Sex Jokes

My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him.

At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison

StanBKK

three words that can ruin a man's ego: "Is that all"

Paul Case

Johnny said I think my parents were making coffee last night,why asked Timmy, because I heard my mom screaming at my dad to give her the sugar

Anonymous

bob was scared of going in the shower alone so he asked his dad to go in the shower with him his dad said "yes but dont look down" when bob and his dad were in the shower bob looked down and said"whats that" his dad said "its just a snake" the next day bob asked his mum to go in the shower with him his mum said "yes but dont look up or down" in the shower bob looked up and said "what are they" his mum said "theyre headlights" so bob looked down and said "whats that" his mum said "its a bush" that night bob had a nightmare so he asked his parents if he could sleep in their bed they said "yes but dont look down" bob climbed into bed and looked down and said "mum turn the headlights on theres a snake going into a bush"

Anonymous

There were three women passing a forest and as they were walking, they saw a bare man stood behind a Bush. He was stood still and when they went up to up to the man, he quietly spoke. He said ' I am a vending machine' . With this, the first woman pulled his d*** and his handkerchief came off and the woman wore it. The second woman pulled his d*** and his glasses came off and she put them on. The third woman pulled his d*** and out came a white liquid all over her hands...she shouted ' Yay, shampoo!'

sian b

A Doctor while examining an old retired Army vet, "when was the last time you had sex?"
with a long pause the vet replies."1955 i believe"
Doctor: "Whoa! Its been a long while then ?"
Vet: Its only 20:15 right now?

Anonymous

Jack at the grocery store ask the lady to show him wear the cookies are. the lady takes him to the bathroom and takes off her shirt and bra, and show her boobs. Jack said why you did you show me that, I wanted a bag of cookies I didn't mean those cookie. Then and the lady said then why didn't you say that you wanted the first cookie meaning not the second cookie meaning. Then Jack said why did you think I wanted to see your boobs in a grocery store.

funny

A man hires a hooker and they go back to his house. The man says I have never had a 69 before. The hooker says okay lets try that. they get into position and she farts. the hooker says o i'm sorry, i don't know whats gotten into me. she goes into the bathroom to freshen up. she comes out and gets into position and again she farts. she says sorry i don/t know whats gotten into me.let me go freshen up . she gets into position again and she farts she says sorry let me go freshen up. The man says don't worry i don't want 67 more of those

blumarker