Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A: "Put it on my bill."